If Only
by Nanashi911
Summary: Sakura is sick, causing a few of her strongest cards to escape. Syaoran is entrusted to capture them, but he might need help from a certain someone..Tragic fic


This is an old fic that is kinda sad in the end, and Eriol lovers will probably hate me for this, but it had to be done. At least it shows the strong bonds between the two, so maybe it's not so bad. Also I know Sakura's sealing wand is the only thing that can capture/seal cards, but by the time Sakura becomes mistress I think she could have bent the rules a bit to let Syaoran's sword seal her own cards. Just go with it ^_^;   
  
*Disclaimer: You know what goes here..*   
  
//thoughts are in between slashes//  
  
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If Only   
By: Nanashi   
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It was pouring outside when Syaoran received the call. He held the phone tightly as he heard Sakura sneeze on the other end.  
  
"Are you ok? You should really be resting right now.." he coaxed but the girl continued talking.   
  
"I can't Syaoran, I have something important to tell you!".   
  
She strained hard to keep her voice audible under her stuffy nose and sore throat.   
  
"My power..is currently dwindling because of my sickness. I'm sorry, I couldn't keep the cards under control. They don't understand my sickness, and a few of them thought I had deserted them, so they escaped. I can't go out to retrieve them because the doctor said it will be a week before this flu breaks.."   
  
She coughed sorely for a few seconds before excusing herself and returning to the phone, "..I was hoping you could go get them for me.." she finished.   
  
The boy hesitated before asking "Which cards got loose?".   
  
"Firey, Dash, Fly, Fight and.."   
  
Syaoran interrupted her after taking a quick look outside "Let me guess..watery?!".   
  
Sakura sighed "Yes, watery too..".   
  
Syaoran mumbled, "Great..two of the strongest elemental cards, one of the most dangerous ones..another the fastest and the last one flies. Just great.."   
  
They remained silent and pensive for a while before the ill mistress asked him again, "So do you think you can do it?"   
  
"Do I really have a choice? These cards are probably running a muck out there as we speak. One question though, do you think they will really listen to me? I mean..my powers are nowhere near yours.." he replied.   
  
Sakura grew somewhat worried as she realized that being the most powerful magician made help very limited.   
  
All of a sudden as if a lightbulb had switched on in her head she responded "I know you can do it Syaoran-kun! I will try my best to keep them as docile as possible from this end, and also I have an idea that just might work."   
  
"And what exactly is this idea?" he asked somewhat apprehensive about her tone just before the girl went into a fit of coughs and stuttered that she had to go.   
  
She also said that once he started facing off with the cards, he would see what her idea was, if it gets there in time. Syaoran hung up the phone after telling her to get well soon.   
  
It was still late afternoon but the clouds were so thick overhead that they completely blocked out the sun. It would not stop pouring, and just like a deja-vu from the past, it only rained in Tomoeda. It was very similar to the first test Eriol had given Sakura, back before she had transformed the Clow cards into her own. Syaoran thought back to those days, the days when he thought he was in love with Sakura. Time had passed and he grew up emotionally. He was no longer the naive innocent child he had been before; and now he made his magical studies a priority, where before he had given everything up for love. But love at such an early age was not meant to last; as he found out the hard way. It had always been such a fickle subject for him. He loved a person once who was as gentle as a rabbit and who's other form was simply angelic, then he loved it's mistress.   
  
Ah, Sakura Kinomoto. She had been to him, in those days, something forbidden. There was always a reason to keep them apart, always something to get in the way. She was so close and yet so far, one of those things you always want and can never have. But what happens when you finally have the untouchable? The magic was gone. He had chosen the mistress and thought that once she had returned his feelings that everything would be ok. He thought she was what he had wanted all along, that this was true everlasting love. Yes, love was truly a fickle thing. He grew more and more distant everyday finding himself confused and unsatisfied and they broke up mutually, but always remained friends. All the while he swore he would never love again for he had rejected the love of too many people in his younger years. To make sure of his pact, he kept himself busy as he set out to become stronger than ever. He remembered the great showdown between Eriol and Sakura, and after their breakup, he decided he wanted to be just like them, perhaps someday even stronger. His rivalry with Eriol never truly ended. This time it wasn't over love, this time it was over power and he opted to remain in Japan to train.   
  
So here he was after 4 years, staring at the rain. It was almost funny. Thinking about the cards that ran away he noticed they all had one thing in common. All of them had been either afraid of Sakura during their initial capture as Clow cards, or very eager to do away with her. He stuck his hand out of the window and caught a raindrop in his hand. The Watery was one especially, that had been completely reluctant to be caught. What a personal trophy it would be to catch these rogue cards. Crunching his knuckles together a confident grin grew on his face. This was the chance he had been waiting for to test all the skills he had learned. He needed this not only to prove his worth to his clan, but to himself. Excited by this new prospect he threw on a raincoat and flew out the front door into the rain. The down pour seemed to grow harder, almost as if the cards sensed his presence. The Watery knew he was out to get her.   
  
He splashed through the streets trying to find a vantage point to see where he could coax Watery's material form to appear. But as he ran something much quicker sped by him. Plans changed as he decided the Dash card would be an easier start. Boy was he mistaken. Chasing after it in the rain was not as easy as he had thought, and before he knew it the little creature had a huge lead on him. His human speed was just not fast enough; so parked along the street he nabbed a random bike and raced after the card. Dash noticed and did it's best to lose him by darting all over the place. Syaoran had to slow it down or confuse it. The one advantage he had over the card was that he knew the streets like the back of his hand and Dash only ran where it saw fit. Syaoran had a plan. Summoning his sword he quickly withdrew one of his ofuda and began his chant.   
  
"Rai tei shourai!"   
  
Sure enough bolts of lightning emerged from the paper and they smacked the ground in front of Dash. The card bolted in the opposite direction and in this manner he continued his assault, herding the card towards a dead end on a lonely street. The card had nowhere to run and bounced futily off the walls of the alley. Syaoran only had to wield his sword and chant, before the Dash materialized into it's familiar Sakura card shape.   
  
Syaoran triumphantly picked up the card, "Not so bad, one down 4 to go.."   
  
Overhead the shadow of a large bird was seen.   
  
The boy took in a deep breath before giving chase. He was determined to capture each card all in one night. Pulling out the dash card he demanded that it lend him it's speed and before he knew it he was keeping pace with the Fly card overhead. The large bird cried in protest as Syaoran challenged it from below. With his speed he found that scaling tall buildings was no problem and that was just what he needed. To get above the card he hoped from one roof to the next and just when he was at level with the bird he took out his wind ofuda. Striking it with his sword the paper expelled a forceful blow. Running into it he found that his speed and the wind combined elevated him long enough and high enough to land on the birds back. The Fly card ascended higher into the sky, but nothing phased the wild haired wolf as he struck the bird with his sword. The card obeyed, materializing in his hands, and as he fell to the earth below he released it again only to sprout wings. He had never felt this kind of exhilaration before, everything was going right for him and he estimated that he would have all the cards back before the night was through. From his new height he had a complete view of the city below.   
  
However, flying through the clouds did not last long as watery raged and worsened the storm. Syaoran was forced to land in Penguin Park and as he did so he felt the presence of another card near him. He put his collected cards away trying to concentrate. He hadn't put his finger on which of the two other cards it was, but the scene felt so familiar. Stalking cautiously among the swings and slides he dared the card to show itself. He stopped for a moment to position himself and closing his eyes he felt for the presence of the card. Within a minute he whirled around in the direction of the hidden card.   
  
"Fight card! show yourself!" he commanded as he poised himself for battle.   
  
But just as he was about to jump after the card he caught the aura of something extremely powerful off in the distance. Distracted for a moment he turned in it's direction trying to pinpoint what it was. It was coming closer and the feeling grew stronger and stronger, something familiar. He had almost forgot about the card when a bush close to him rustled violently.   
  
"Look out!" screamed a voice and Syaoran turned just in time to see the fight card leap out at him.   
  
In a split second the boy was knocked out of the cards path.   
  
"It's..you!" he said bewildered as Eriol hovered above him.   
  
"Are you ok?" he asked urgently.   
  
"Ye..yeah, what are you doing here?!" blinked Syaoran.   
  
"No time for questions now" replied the mage as he quickly scrambled up off the other boy.   
  
He turned, shielding Syaoran behind him and standing defiantly towards the Fight who was already in an offensive stance. On the ground Syaoran leered at the other boy. It was obvious from the way the Fight card turned on him now, that Eriol was still more powerful. Syaoran pounded his fist into the pavement. There was no way he was going to be upstaged tonight. Just as Eriol released his staff Syaoran pushed by him and lunged at the Fight. She averted him easily as he flew towards the ground and she turned ready to kick him from above. It wasn't Syaoran she wanted to fight but his interference annoyed her enough to attract her attention. Syaoran, aware of the danger, rolled away just as her foot slammed into the spot he had been in.   
  
"Syaoran what are you doing!? Move away and let me handle this!" shouted Eriol as he ran towards them.   
  
The card turned back to the superior magician. Syaoran took the opportunity to kick her from behind causing her to stagger forward. This infuriated her and she decided to do away with him so she could get to fighting the more worthy opponent.   
  
Eriol watched as the two fighters attacked each other relentlessly. He grew angry at Syaoran's disregard for his own safety and at the same time marveled at how strong his descendant had become. He was holding his own against the fight card and in a way this made the British boy proud. But enough was enough and he came to the conclusion that the small wolf needed some sense talked into him. He stretched his staff out before him and let a few beams blast out from it. It hit it's target, and the card collapsed to her knees.   
  
"Seal her now!" Eriol commanded as Syaoran struck the unconscious card with his sword.   
  
In a matter of seconds the card changed to it's more harmless form. Syaoran let out a sigh of relief as he held the card in his hands. Eriol ran up to him.   
  
"Just what was that all about?!" he asked.   
  
Syaoran glared at him, "I don't know what you are doing here and I don't care! I was doing just fine on my own before you came so I don't need your help. Just go home!"   
  
Eriol frowned, "Sakura asked me to come and keep an eye on you just in case you got into trouble. Syaoran these cards were an easy capture but the last two wont be so mild! We have to work together on this. You wont be able to do it alone!".   
  
/So this is what she had in mind all along!/ the shorter boy thought to himself.   
  
"And just how do you know I can't do this on my own huh! I am not the same little Syaoran from 4 years ago. I am a lot stronger, and I repeat, I don't need your help!" he growled and Eriol prepared for another round but stopped himself abruptly.   
  
Syaoran noticed, "What is it?" he asked.   
  
Eriol sniffed the air, "Smell that? it's like..smoke".   
  
Syaoran wiped his nose and smirked in the direction of the smoke.   
  
"That's my cue.." he said before summoning the fly card and bounding off.   
  
"Syaoran wait!!!" yelled the dark haired boy, but there was no stopping him.   
  
He balled his fists, "Just why is he so stubborn!" and with that he headed off in the same direction.   
  
Upon arriving he saw that the firey was still loose and on a rampage. And just where was Syaoran? Eriol searched the area for the other boy but he was nowhere to be found. He nearly gave up when he heard moans coming from behind a fence. Turning the corner he saw the smoking mass of Chinese boy sprawled on the ground. Eriol rushed to his side and scooped him up in his arms.   
  
"Syaoran speak to me! are you ok?!" he questioned frantically.   
  
The other boy could only moan, opening his eyes momentarily before falling unconscious. Eriol shook his head as they disappeared into the night air.   
  
~*~   
  
When Syaoran awoke he found himself bandaged up and in an unfamiliar bed. He eyed his surroundings carefully. The room was dark except for a large window at one end that let in light from outside. The furniture was antique and looked expensive. Syaoran winced as he touched his arm. Everything seemed intact but just a little sore.   
  
"Feeling better!?"   
  
Syaoran turned towards the door to find Eriol standing with some scissors and a tin in his hands.   
  
"Kind of..where am I?" asked the slightly drowsy boy from the bed.   
  
Eriol made his way over to his injured descendant and sat on one side of the bed.   
  
"You're in my room."   
  
He leaned in close to Syaoran, which made him shrink back a little. Eriol smiled as he took his arm and examined it closely. He ran his fingers along the length of it and closing his eyes recited a spell. Syaoran's arm began to glow for a second and then it stopped as Eriol opened his eyes.   
  
"That should do it." he said in a satisfied voice as he cut into the bandages and began to unwrap them.   
  
Syaoran blinked astonished as the pain left his arm and when the bandages came off he saw he was as good as new. He stretched and bent his arm testing it as Eriol smiled and worked on the rest of him.   
  
When most of the bandages had come off, Syaoran stretched out his renewed limbs. Eriol turned to put his materials away and just as he did so they both caught the same aura that the cards were emitting from their rampage outside. Syaoran turned towards the window and like a wild cat leaped out of bed towards it. Eriol tackled him as the shorter boy fought to get away from his grip.   
  
"Syaoran..just what do you think you are doing! Calm down!", demanded Eriol.   
  
Syaoran continued to struggle underneath him.   
  
"It's none of your business Eriol, I need to catch those last two cards! Let..me GO!" he snapped, but the other boy restrained him magically while he caught his breath.   
  
Syaoran finally calmed down enough to let Eriol speak.   
  
"You..you can't go yet!" he gasped, "Although the surface of your body looks normal there is still a lot of damage to repair underneath. The Firey probably threw you around like a rag doll. You need at least one day of rest to be back at full strength. I don't want you going out and getting hurt again, so please wait until tomorrow night..don't be so stubborn. Just what were you trying to do anyway? Catch them all in one night?!"   
  
Syaoran sweat dropped.   
  
"You know that's crazy! Just rest for tonight ok?" he finished loosening his hold on the other boy.   
  
Syaoran winced in slight pain as he realized Eriol was right. He nodded and laid back down to rest, allowing the mage to finish his job, but his view never left the window.   
  
The night pressed on as Eriol worked silently and diligently, checking the boy once over.   
  
"You're welcome.." he said finally as the patient pouted and turned his head slightly blushing.   
  
"T-thank you.." he huffed reluctantly.   
  
"I already said you were welcome" Eriol smiled.   
  
Syaoran stared unamused at the ceiling as the other boy moved on to other injured parts of his body.   
  
"It's been a long time hasn't it.." said Eriol trying to start a conversation, but the wolf was in no mood to talk.   
  
He continued, "It's a good thing I was in town for a visit, and that Sakura called me, or no one would have been able to help you now." he chuckled.   
  
Syaoran turned to him suddenly curious.   
  
"Where is everyone else?" he asked.   
  
Eriol sighed, "They are in England.."   
  
Syaoran caught the slight change in his voice and decided to investigate further.   
  
"So..how are they?" he ventured.   
  
Eriol turned to him with a slightly pained look on his face.   
  
"Nakuru and Spinel are fine..Kaho..I don't know about Kaho." he said trailing off.   
  
"Oh? why's that?" he continued to ask.   
  
Eriol turned back to his duties, "We broke up a long time ago, Syaoran." he said.   
  
Syaoran lowered his head, "Just like me.." he whispered.   
  
Eriol looked up, "How's that? you mean you and.. Sakura??".   
  
The other boy remained silent.   
  
"Oh..I see" said Eriol giving up on the subject.   
  
"I don't know.." said Syaoran sadly.   
  
"I thought she was what I wanted, but I realized early on after we became a couple that the feeling was gone. It just wasn't the same. I put so much of myself into chasing her that when I finally had her..there was nothing left of me to give. It just didn't feel right anymore. Something..wasn't right. Do you know what I mean?" he asked opening up a little to his host.   
  
Eriol smiled "I know exactly what you mean."   
  
Syaoran sat up slightly, "So..why did you and Kaho break up anyway?"   
  
Eriol smirked, "She left me for a younger man."   
  
They sweat dropped as the room grew silent again.   
  
The magic Eriol was using caught Syaoran's attention. Eriol noticed that the other boy was watching him work intently.   
  
"What is it?" he questioned.   
  
Syaoran narrowed his eyes curiously, "How do you do it?".   
  
Eriol blushed, "Uumm..do what?".   
  
Syaoran sweat-dropped, "Not THAT!.. I know how you do that! I meant..your strength, your magic. Where did you learn it, or was it all just instinct?"   
  
Eriol raised an eye brow as a coy smirk developed on his face.   
  
"Want to learn?" he asked.   
  
Syaoran threw his head to the side as stubborn as ever "I wasn't asking for any favors, I was just curious!"   
  
Then his eyes wandered back to Eriol's lavendar orbs. They locked on to each other as if Eriol was silently repeating his offer.   
  
"Yes..I want to know," sighed Syaoran, "I want to know everything!"   
  
He sat up suddenly in a determined fashion, "I want to be strong, like you! More than you even! Will..you..teach me?" he finished growing slightly reserved and unsure of himself at the last few words.   
  
Eriol beamed, flashing one of his trademark grins while gently pushing his anxious relative back down onto the bed.   
  
"OK then, how's this. I will train you. I will teach you everything I know, little Syaoran, if you promise to come back to England with me and be completely dedicated to my instructions..is it a deal?" and with that he held out his pinkie for him.   
  
Syaoran looked stunned as he contemplated this wild and spontaneous offer, "Are you serious? You will teach me everything!?" he asked.   
  
"Everything."   
  
With that statement, Syaoran gripped the blue haired boy's pinkie with his own.   
  
"It's a deal, besides I have nothing to hold me back here." he said confidently, "Oh, and I'm not little anymore.." he complained.   
  
Eriol laughed, roughening up the wolf's hair, "I know you have gotten taller..it seems like only yesterday, we were kids. In a way we still are. You haven't changed a bit at least." he teased.   
  
Syaoran knocked his hand away, pouting. Eriol smiled as he stood up from the bed.   
  
"Get some rest, and tomorrow we will go get those cards together k?" he said making his way towards the door.   
  
"Say, Eriol, if this is your room..where will you sleep tonight?" questioned the ill boy wringing his hands nervously between the sheets.   
  
Eriol stopped in his tracks, "Oh? and why do you ask that?"   
  
Syaoran concealed his face slightly from the light of the room.   
  
"Well..I was just thinking..this IS your room..and your bed after all, and I feel kinda bad taking up your space and.." he blushed furiously as Eriol smiled and shook his head.   
  
"If you don't mind," he interrupted taking a seat on the couch parked across the room, "I will stay here for now, just to make sure there are no complications to your injuries overnight." he said winking.   
  
Syaoran nodded mechanically as his blush faded, "Good night then, Eriol" he said settling to sleep.   
  
Eriol pressed back into the cushions of the couch and made himself comfortable as he watched the shadows of the night dance across the figure of his sleeping descendant.   
  
/I'm sorry I stopped you from asking what you really meant to ask, Syaoran, but you are not ready for that sort of thing yet/ He thought to himself pushing aside a set of bangs, /if I could just watch over you like this forever, I would be happy. Tonight, I am truly happy./   
  
Then he sighed.   
  
/Too bad happiness doesn't last forever./ With those last thoughts he drifted off into sleep.   
  
~*~   
  
Eriol awoke abruptly to the notion that something wild was taking place in a close part of town. He immediately pulled the covers from his bed only to discover pillows left in Syaoran's place.   
  
"That foolish, stubborn boy!" he cursed through grit teeth.   
  
Flinging on his robes, and hastily casting a quick spell so no one would bother his mission, he set out to find the location of the battle he knew was already in progress. Before he knew it he was close enough to see Syaoran dodging the attacks of the last two cards.   
  
/They are attacking together??!/ he thought to himself as he realized that both Firey and Watery were in their alternate forms and attacking the boy simultaneously.   
  
"They are using strategies against you, Syaoran!" he shouted from the limbs of a tree just above him.   
  
Syaoran looked up, "What are you doing here Eriol!? I can handle this on my own! Get back! It's too dangerous!" he warned waving his fist in the air.   
  
"Look out!"   
  
Syaoran braced himself for the impact he knew was coming from the two cards.   
  
But it never came.   
  
And he only heard Eriol's scream as he shielded himself from the brightness of the thwarted attack. As if in slow motion he saw the boy drop in front of him to the pavement. Syaoran realized in sheer horror that Eriol had taken in the full impact of the combined blasts for him.   
  
"Nooo! Eriol!"   
  
He began to run to him, only to be stopped by another blast from the cards before he could get to the fallen boy. The cards whirled around each other intent on avoiding being caught. Syaoran knelt beside the severely battered mage.   
  
"Their former master..how..could they do this? Don't they feel anything? Don't they recognize him?" he said as his voice wavered.   
  
"SAKURA!!!" he screamed into the air.   
  
A long distance away, Sakura felt Syaoran's presence and urgent cries. Summoning all the strength she could, she willed the cards into losing power.   
  
Back at the scene, the card's cocky smirks were turning into looks of panic as their forms began to lose shape. Syaoran stood defiantly, shielding the other boy behind him and took advantage of the confusion, to launch an all out attack on the cards. Using the dash card he hopped from surface to surface as fast as the wind, finally taking a forceful jump into the air above them. He released his lightning ofuda on Watery just in time to stun her into fits and throws before she gave up returning to her card state. Firey had escaped the initial retaliation but Syaoran quickly released his fly card to chase her down and using his wind ofuda he restrained her path. Then he set watery on her to finish the job, as the firey fell burnt out and wasted to the earth. She too was forced to submit to his attacks and transformed back into a card. He held the cards tightly in his hands for a moment before dashing over to Eriol.   
  
Tearfully he held the boy up to a sitting position in his arms. The other mage struggled to keep his eyes open as he fixed them on Syaoran's stained face.   
  
"Why Eriol..why? You know I can't heal you the way you healed me, you know I'm not strong enough..so why did you do it?" he sniffed as the taller boy made an effort to smile at him.   
  
"Shhh.." he said trying to calm his grieving descendant.   
  
"No! Don't try to calm me down!" he yelled.   
  
Then he wrapped his pinkie around Eriol's.   
  
"What about your promise? OUR promise! You promised me!" he said letting the streams of tears fall freely, "We were going to train together, do everything together! This is all my fault, if only I wasn't so stubborn.. if only you had used magic instead of throwing yourself out there like that! You could have done something else, you could have just let them take me instead..so why did you do this?!..WHY!!"   
  
Eriol unhinged his pinkie and brought his hand up to touch Syaoran's face, wiping his tears with all his available strength.   
  
"..Because..I love you.." he said, letting his hand fall as all strength left him.   
  
"I'll be back someday Syaoran..please wait for me.." he gasped as his life finally vanished.   
  
Syaoran blinked unbelievably at all the events that had just unfolded before him and all the things he had just heard. As if snapping out of his shock he dug his face into the other boys hair wildly and held his lifeless body tightly before rearing up and screaming painfully into the sky. He cried forcefully until he could no longer shed tears. Before he knew it Eriol's body began to glow brightly and subtly began to fade.   
  
"No..what..what's going on!" he asked frantically as the load in his arms grew lighter by the second.   
  
It was then, after most of his lower body had faded, that he realized Eriol had re-hinged his pinkie around Syaoran's in a last minute promise. Syaoran bent his head to kiss the lips of the rapidly disappearing sorcerer before he was gone in a burst of sparkles all around him. He smiled painfully at the place where the other boy once laid before turning towards the horizon.   
  
"Eriol..I swore I would never love again. But I do, I realize now that I love you and I promise..I will wait for you, forever."   
  
Back at Sakura's house the doorbell rang. She pulled on a robe as she slowly made her way to the door. She finally opened it, only to reveal no one on the other side. She was about to close the door when she noticed something on the floor. It was her missing cards tied up with a string. She picked them up and brought them close to her heart.   
  
"Eriol..no.." she whispered before her knees buckled, letting her collapse to the pavement.   
  
A short distance away Syaoran stepped back taking a long gaze at the neighborhood and friends he had known for so long. He held out his hand, his pinkie in view. With one last painful smile he turned, never to be seen in Japan again.   
  
~Owari 


End file.
